Sometimes It Really Hurts To Care So Much

I feel sad right now and there are many reasons for why I feel sad. One no doubt has to do with the fact that I am tired and have been sick for the last week. My physical well being has been weakened and eventually that can wear on a person emotionally. So that is part of the reason I feel sad.

But I also know there is hope because God has given me hope. I remember a time in my life, so many years ago, when I thought of suicide on a minute by minute basis. There were times when I dreamed of a way out of this life, but God was faithful and He gave me strength and hope to get me through.

So I am not without hope, but my heart is sad. And whereas my heart was sad before because of me, myself and I - today it is sad because of the collective “us” - us in the Church universal and us in the culture as a whole.

When I survey the land in America - and what I mean by that is the cultural land, the spiritual land - what I see is desolation. There is a famine for the Word of the Lord. There is a famine in the hearts of man for truth and there is a huge lack of humility.

The Church in America is overflowing with prideful people, sinful people and people who do not know the Lord’s word or Him. Many are masquerading in the name of Jesus and bringing shame to the name of Jesus. And we all do this to a degree, some of us not meaning to as we work out our salvation with fear and trembling, but others do it knowing they are wolves in sheep’s clothing ready to fleece the flock.

God has called His people to peace. He is our peace and His word says that those who are peacemakers are blessed. I do my best to walk in that way. But there are times when I have failed and hopefully I have been able to admit it.

And for the most part I think real Christ-followers are peacemakers, but it is really hard when you are a peacemaker and a truth speaker because people don’t like to hear the truth.

So what has brought all of this reflection on? Well, many things. If you follow the revival movements, the word of faith movement and the discernment ministries movements then you already know. There are way too many Christians online fighting over things that are just a shame.

On the other hand, you have other Christians who have a misunderstanding and they are bashing one another - that bugs me a lot. Because if there was a desire for understanding, then there wouldn’t be a public fight.

And of course, there are tons of things that for some reason I’ve been privy to behind the scenes that are sources of hurt and conflict. The bottom line - Christians aren’t spiritually healthy, emotionally healthy and/or willing to accept responsibility in some ways. Not everyone, but many.

One of the things I am trained in is how to help people resolve conflict, but that can only happen if people want it resolved. I fear that too many professing Christians aren’t interested in resolving conflict because it means someone has to admit they may have erred. This is ironic because pride not only goes before the fall, but also God totally hates the prideful. That is the sin of Satan and that minion knows exactly how to use it to divide and conquer the Church.

Satan is having a major field day right now in the Church. For those who don’t believe in the devil, well, you won’t be able to understand that, but for those of us who know that there is a serious spiritual war going on, we know Satan is having a great field day.

So what is the solution - repentance, humbling ourselves, confessing our sins and doing our best to be at peace with all men. It is way easier said than done, but it can be done.