Yesterday I was reading through some of the normal blogs I read and I found this post written by Ingrid Schlueter on domestic violence. I read through the post because every Tuesday night I lead a group of women who have been victims of domestic abuse and/or drug abuse. And unfortunately, sometimes the two go hand and hand – DV and drugs.
Domestic violence is no laughing matter, and sadly it exists in the Christian community. In fact, in some ways DV is even more dangerous in the church because these Christian men use the Word of God to substantiate the way they abuse their wives. They often use the submission card to validate their unbiblical behavior and the women is often biblically ignorant or has already been beaten down so much that she can’t fight back.
I remember when I was became a Christian while I was in high school. The church I attended was relatively small and one of the elders of the church became like a father to me. I loved this man and his family dearly, and even after all of these years I still receive Christmas cards from them. But I will never forget meeting his oldest daughter because she was a living miracle.
She was about 15 years older than I was and we met because she had to leave her husband in the most secretive way possible. In fact, she was a pastor’s wife at the time and her husband, “the godly pastor”, all the time they were married was beating the day lights out of her and sexually assaulting her at the same time. In fact, her second child was conceived as a result of him raping her.
So after she finally got the courage up to tell her family what was going on, her family set a plan in motion so that she could escape from his abuses. And as a young Christian at the time, I remember feeling like it was no wonder some people hate the church.
Well, in my friends case it was tragic on two levels. The first level was that her pastor husband was indeed a vile and wicked man. No godly man rapes and beats his wife while he is preaching to a church about living godly. That is the ultimate hypocrisy. The second level was that my friend was raised in the church by a legalistic father who hammered into his daughters minds that wives should submit to their husbands in the Lord. That’s why his daughter stayed in this abusive relationship so long.
To be fair, I should say that the dad in this case, felt awful and blamed himself for his daughter being abused for so long. The father repented and asked his daughter for forgiveness because he had taught her wrong.
Which is one of the points of this post. God does Hate Divorce, but He also Hates Violence. And I find it fascinating that legalistic Christians will always cite the God hates divorce part of the verse, but they forget about the later part of that verse that says God hates violence.
In other words, God does not approve of domestic violence. Period. And so if you happen to be a woman who is being abused by a “christian” man – do not be deceived. That man is not filled with the Holy Spirit and God will not condemn you for leaving such a horrific person.
Go and read Ingrid’s post, and learn from a woman who has been there.
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